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Lily Lawrence Returns to England - Our Man at the scene - William Pickle

Lily Lawrence arrves in England with Mr Nathaniel Crumpole in tow.

Lily Lawrence as she appears in 'Little May', United Players.

Former bit-part player of the London Theatre, and now England’s own star in the Hollywood sky, Lily Lawrence yesterday returned from the Californian lemon groves to the green parks of her ancestral home, Pitscally House, run by Daddy - Sir Reginald Pritchard Lawrence, fifteenth Earl of Baggall, and owner of half of Staffordshire.

The latest thing in Hollywood is the ‘Studio Agent’. Lily, currently signed to United Players, is stuck with a Mr. Crumpole, who uses brisk American language such as ‘Applesauce’ and ‘Sap’ to convey himself. The U.P. Press Release gave up more - Lily has most recently played Josephine to John Gilbert’s Napolean, and Little May, in a film of the same name (yet to show on our own shores). Her next moving picture is with Edna Purviance, Chaplin’s leading lady.

As for Sir Reginald, he hopes for a family celebration at the fifth British Empire Exhibition at Wembley Park in Middlesex, as he again enters the world famous Orchid Competition, to be opened by his very own ‘Little May’. He may have won it last year with the flushing blooms of his Odontoglossum Nevadense, but alas, this year, he will be attending in vain. Yes, faithful readers, you read it here first - the Orchid Competition is a foregone conclusion, and all thanks to the entry of the practically unique Black Pearl Orchid, to be put forward by ‘businessman’ Mr Urkaz Grope.

So what is next for Lily Lawrence? Her father may not take the prize at Wembley, but he won’t lack for the experience and will send his famous offspring back to Hollywood in a few weeks with ‘plenty’, where she can indulge in more of her screen capers for the masses.

Orchidelirium continues with surprise entry for Wembley - Our Man in the know - William Pickle

Sir Alfred Catesby-Grey, antique dealer and historian.

The house where Sir Alfred keeps the Rainbow Orchid - under close guard and in a secret location.

Yesterday this reporter revealed a world exclusive - the entry in this year's Wembley Orchid exhibition of the rare Black Pearl Orchid by Mr Urkaz Grope - a foregone winner - surely?

Grope is serious about taking the prize, and just when you thought the world of botany could not get any more interesting, up comes a flower to beat even Grope's petalled treasure.

Practically unique, talked about only in whispers amongst the elite of horticulturists, here comes the Rainbow Orchid.

"It will make Grope's black orchid look like a withered old dandelion" - so says a close associate of the man who will be entering the flower - Sir Alfred Catesby-Grey, antique dealer and advisor to the Monarch in all things old and dusty.

Who would ever have thought a battle would rage in the world of flowers? You read it here first, dear readers. What else has this fascinating story yet to reveal?

Meanwhile, we watch Mr Urkaz Grope and Sir Alfred Catesby-Grey with great interest.

Julius Chancer, The Rainbow Orchid, story, artwork, characters and website © 1997 and 2014 Garen Ewing & inkytales